If the kitchen is the heart of the home...

Then we're in need of a major quadruple bypass. Stat.
If you were to come to my house right now (you'd love that opportunity wouldn't you?), you might see something like this:Who am I kidding? That is exactly what you'd see. Pictures don't lie (unless we're talking about those pictures they love to show on the front page of the Enquirer. You know, the ones that feature the 800 lb baby, the boy who is half bat, or Britney Spears actually buckling her child into his carseat. Come on, you know that didn't happen).
Before you judge me too harshly, let me just say that my family lives in a place that is only 800 square feet. Break that down Mary Poppins-style and you'll realize that's only 200 square feet per person. Factor in that Bert is 7 feet tall and 3 feet wide and you'll discover that his person takes up a majority of the space, leaving little room for anything (or anyone) else. OK, so Bert's not gigantic. I'm just fishing for ways to justify my untidiness. To recap, we have a lot of stuff squeezed into a small space. Unfortunately that alone cannot explain the chaos captured in these pictures.
The problem in this kitchen area is twofold:
1. I have a hard time staying on top of the dishes. I often don't unload the dishwasher right away which leads to a pileup of dishes in the sink and on the counter. Before I know it, dirty dishes have overtaken the kitchen. Like so:
2. The top of the dishwasher is a separate issue, but since it's in the same area, I'm going to tackle it too. When I have something in hand that doesn't have a home, I place it on the dishwasher. This could be anything, really--preschool papers, junk mail, important mail, bins of various sizes, I'm sure if we looked hard enough we might even be able to find a government rebate check lurking under there somewhere. Do you see one? Seriously, I could use some extra cash right now. I'd be most appreciative if you uncovered one for me.
So for my next challenge, I'm going to (let's be very clear about this):
1. empty the dishwasher as soon as the dishes are clean. That will allow me to...
2. place all dirty dishes directly in the dishwasher, so that i can...
3. keep the sink clean and clear, and while I'm at it...
4. keep the top of the dishwasher clutter-free.

FYI, I'm not abandoning the workout plan. I'll keep posting brief updates on that vice so that you can continue to cheer me on. Because where would I be without you readers? Evidently I'd be sitting on my flat butt buried under a mountain of clutter and dirty dishes, searching for that rebate check.